Tonight I meditated, and the theme I wanted to focus on was courage. Courage is something that is hard to have, especially in face of adversity or challenging times. You want to give up. You want to hide in your bed and pretend the problem didn’t exist.
So as I lit my white candle (since I had no orange to speak of, and white is a good all purpose one) and my dragons blood incense I listed out loud the things I was afraid to face. I was brutally honest with myself–and that takes courage, because more than anything, we hide from ourselves; especially our faults. I said out loud the things I was afraid to face about myself. Because hearing them outloud gives them less power.
After that I turned on some relaxing music I closed my eyes and focused on my Intent.
And an interesting and amazing thing happened.
My fingers that I had pressed together started to thump. Or rather, my heart did. It was pulsing so hard I could feel it through my fingers stronger than I had previously. And it was methodical, like horses hooves striking the ground in rhythm. An image appeared in my mind then.
I was looking through the ears of a horse, sitting atop it as it cantered through a field. My heart beat in tandem with the horses hooves. I was 12 again, running a horse through a field, not sure if I was me, or the horse.
I felt alive. I smiled as I the muscles of the horse bunched under me so it could go faster. I leaned forward, always staring between the horses ears at the horizon in front of me. I felt the wind in my hair. I felt the joy and pure abandon that I always feel when a horse runs. And then a voice spoke. It said:
“Remember this. Remember the rush of going towards your target with confidence and joy. Always look straight at your goal, but be aware of all around you. You trust the horse to carry you forward, and it trusts you to keep it steady. You must trust that you will arrive to your target, because you are confident in your skill. Remember the courage it takes to trust.”
I stayed on that horse, riding it and remembering how confident I was when I ride. In horse riding you need to look between the horse’s ears, because even the slightest movement from your body turning left or right will cause the horse to turn that direction. And your body follows your eyes. So you look between.
Icelandic Horse. My teachers and my best friends.
Trusting takes courage. Trusting in yourself, and trusting on your reliance of others, and trusting you’ll make your goals in the future. But you have to trust that future, and yourself. And you have to have the courage to accept that trust, and to give it.
When I was done meditating and riding I found my pulse was back down to hardly noticeable between my fingertips. It was an amazing experience that I’ll never forget. Whenever I worry if I can reach my future goals, I’ll remind myself:
Always keep your goal in between the horse’s ears.