Hello my witchlings! It’s been a long LONG time since I last posted. At least several months. I’m sure you’re wondering where I’ve been–and maybe you haven’t because life moves on and months away on the internet is tantamount to years, I know!
I could tell you I’ve been off on a spiritual journey, taking classes on karma and meditation and becoming a 3rd degree Wiccan.
But I wasn’t.
To be honest, a lot of crazy (mostly good, some not as great) things have happened. In my mundane life a book of mine got picked up and published, and I started writing even more books. It was awesome. But what ended up happening was that magic had to take a back seat. And more than that, I woke up one day and realized I felt super disconnected with the flow of the universe and the mysterious. It was just….dormant. Not gone, but asleep. Faraway.
I wasn’t too worried about it at first. All witches have times like that. Days or weeks where they just don’t have the drive or feel the connection. But then those days and weeks turned into a month, and then two and then three…..and I began to worry. Why couldn’t I connect? Why was the ‘spark’ gone? Waking up and being excited to do a mediation or do a magical project? Hell, I even felt incredibly disconnected from celebrating Full Moons and big holidays like Beltane (one of my favorite holidays!).
I felt awful. I still ran a ritual with friends for Litha, but the power, the feeling of connectedness…it just wasn’t there. I was in a forest and I’d lost my way.
Honestly, I’m still feeling that way. But it’s less. I’m feeling a bit more of the spark coming back. An ember, but at least a hot ember that will hopefully turn into a merry fire again.
So here’s the thing though: You can’t force magic. You can’t force your feelings. And your spiritual practice (no matter what path it is) shouldn’t feel like a chore. It shouldn’t be ‘something you have to do. UGH.” If you’re feeling that way STEP AWAY.
Allow yourself to feel that way. Try not to feel guilty (I say try because I know how hard it is to NOT feeling guilty!). Sometimes you need the break. That’s okay. Just like the seasons, just like the moon, there is waxing and waning. A season for all things. And sometimes that change means spirituality takes a back seat.
Sometimes the mundane life has to (and does) take precedence. I’m not saying your practice and beliefs aren’t as important, but getting bills paid, chasing your dream, making things happen….sometimes that needs to come first. Spirit isn’t going to get mad at you smite you with lightening. They’re not there for that. They’re there to help you.
That’s been a hard lesson for me to learn–especially since it’s been so many months. But I don’t want my beliefs to feel like a chore, and for the past few months they’ve felt that way, and I admit it.
But thankfully I think the cloud is starting to lift, becoming more overcast than thick mist, and I think I’ll soon find my way through the forest.
How about you guys? Do you find yourself ever disconnected with your practice for months at a time? Do you feel guilty? How do you get back into the groove? Or does it just come back in one blinding instant? This witch wants to know!